Self Confidence And Ear Jewelery

It's been about three weeks now and I'm still doing the earring thing. I just turned 50 a few weeks back and some of you might think I'm crazy and that wearing an earring at my age is really silly and stupid. Frankly if you are one of those people, then I realize you are entitled to your opinion. And let me be blunt. I don't really care what you think.

I've been googling a lot of things lately and one topic that I've been researching is not worrying about what other people think. It's an epidemic in this society, that we place so much emphasis on what we do to how others perceive us. I'm too old to worry about other people's opinions of me and what I do. I frankly just don't care.I don't really care if you think I'm silly or stupid for wearing an earring.  I'm a big boy and I can take the criticism. Chances are pretty high that I think something you do is silly and stupid. And I hope you don't care what I think, because you shouldn't.

For those of you who know me, what I just said might come as a bit of a shock. I grew up with a very strict father and was always trying to live up to his expectations. I wasn't allowed to have an opinion about anything, so I just agreed with him all the time. This did little to help me develop self confidence and self esteem. I was extremely shy as a child and even as a teenager, I rarely strayed far from home. That being said, when I was 21 and still living at home, I felt the pangs of rebellion and as I had recently left school and was working, and wanted to show a bit of self confidence and assert some independence from a domineering father, I pierced my left ear. It was October 1986 and a guy with an earring was still pretty controversial. Sure there were a lot of guys who had one, but it was not as commonplace and accepted as it is today.

 I had never been so nervous in my life the next morning when I had to face my father. But I did face him. He was not happy, but since I was an adult there wasn't much he could do. He could have kicked me out of the house I suppose, but he didn't. I was his only son (he had 3 daughters as well) and was probably resigned to the fact that I was his fourth "daughter". I had crossed over to the dark side. I had an earring! I think I mainly pierced my ear (back then guys only pierced one ear) to assert some form of independence and self confidence and to show a bit of style that was sorely lacking in my life up to that point. It was a major breakthrough in my quest to get out from under my father's thumb. I was an adult and if I wanted to wear an earring, then I was going wear one.

So I did. It shocked a lot of people, I think. My family was certainly surprised. The fact that they were shocked kind of hurt a little, because did they really think I was that boring and conservative that I would never do something so bold? But like all things, the novelty wore off and no one was shocked anymore. I wore the earring for a few years, moving from a silver stud to a fake diamond stud to a small gold hoop and back again. And then I got bored with it and took it out. I don't remember when exactly. I just stopped wearing it. I had proved my point. I was an adult and could make my own decisions. I could put it back in if I wanted, but I really didn't care. I became apathetic about it.

Then, I joined a very ultraconservative church at 28 years of age. They frowned on men wearing earrings and I had no problem abiding by that rule. My earring wearing days were over as far as I was concerned. Life chugged along, I got married and had a son in my 30's. Then I left the church for a few years. During that time I turned 40 and was having a major mid life crisis. In part to rebel against the church I got the old familiar pang to start wearing an earring again. This time I was almost 20 years older than when I first pierced my ear. Times had changed and guys were now wearing earrings in both ears and it was a lot more acceptable for a guy to have pierced ears than it was 20 years previous. I was in a rebellious mood so I dabbled with the idea of having earrings in both ears. Now, I was 40 and a fair bit overweight, so earrings in both ears looked a little too silly on me (I only wore earrings in both ears for about 3 days). I was kind of disappointed that it was't working out like I had planned so I took the earring out again. I started attending the ultraconservative church soon after and all thoughts of earrings went away again.

Well now it's 10 years down the road and I'm now 50. I left that ultraconservative church 3 years ago, this time for good. I don't know what gave me the urge to start wearing an earring again. But here we are. I know a lot of people think it's stupid and a little bit silly for a man my age to be wearing an earring. But I'm not too worried. I'm just having a little fun in my relative old age. For every person who has this opinion that earrings are silly on older men, there are just as many who think it's just fine. They think that people should be able to do what they want to feel confident and stylish. Age shouldn't matter.

Hell, my favourite male actor, the coolest guy in the universe Han Solo, er I mean, Harrison Ford is over 70 years old and he sports an earring. If he can do it then so can I, right?

OK, So I Wear An Earring...So What? Does Anyone Really Care?

I just turned 50 years old a few weeks back. I also wear an earring in my left ear. I am a guy. I am straight. Some people think that this is a stupid thing to do. A 50 year old guy with an earring. How ridiculous!

Though I don't think I should have to, I am going to explain why I have an earring. This is going to be cathartic for me because since I put the earring back in about a week ago, sometimes I am so tempted to take it back out and put it back in my little jewelry box that's sitting on my bedside table. But I don't do it. Why? Because that would be giving in. All my life I have been giving in to outside or peer pressure. Because basically I'm a wimp. I have always been a wimp. All my life. And I'm tired of it.

I have been on the Internet for the past week googling "guys with earrings", "Older guys with earrings" and related searches trying to find out what the general public thinks about--well, guys with earrings. Never have I come across a subject with such wide ranging opinions! Whew! My head spins sometimes with all the opinions I have read from "the guy must be gay" (nothing wrong with being gay, just that I'm not) and "it's stupid, don't do it", to "it's the greatest thing a man could do to show a bit of style and confidence" "go for it, it's your body, you're an adult you can do what you like". I tend to agree with the latter camp. it is my body. It is my ear. I am an adult (last time I checked) and I can do what I bloody well want to.

I think I am old enough and have earned that privilege to do what I want with my body. Why should I stop doing something because some stranger doesn't think I should?

A little history. I pierced my left ear when I was 21. I did it partly I think to piss off my dad. He was ultra conservative and this was my way of rebelling against my strict upbringing. He thought I did it to copy a rock singer (I'm too embarrassed to reveal who that was) but that wasn't why. He never really understood why because he passed away about 3 months later. I wore an earring for few years, a small stud the progressed to a gold hoop. Then I got bored with it. I thought that was the end of it.

But every few years I got the inkling to wear one again. It made me feel confident and a little cool and rebellious. Then I joined an ultra conservative church that frowned on guys with earrings. (they frowned on girls having more than one). So my earring wearing days were over...or so I thought. I stopped going to that church for a while about 10 years ago. I also turned 40 years old and went through a mini mid life crisis. I put the earring back in and dabbled with the idea of having both ears pierced, but soon gave up on that idea as a little too radical for me at the time.

I started going back to that church and again the earring went back into hiding. Well I have now resigned from that church and recently turned 50. Another mid life crisis? Maybe. And who knows how long I'll want to wear the earring. Another week. Another month? The rest of my life? And do I get my other ear pierced for a more balanced look?   I'm not getting exactly rousing support from my family, but I feel this is important to me--for now. it's a phase. I know I'll get bored with it again. But I want the reason for my getting rid of it to be because I want to stop wearing it. Not from outside pressure. And not from a lack of self confidence.

It's funny. Everywhere I look I see guys, young and old with one earring, multiple earrings, both ears pierced. As soon as I put this stud back in last week, I hardly see anyone sporting jewelry on their lobes. Doesn't do much for my self confidence (come on guys, help me out!!!) , but I'm sticking to my guns. it's very important to me that I don't give in to pressure from society that thinks that wearing an earring is either the stupidest and silliest thing a man of my age could do to the greatest thing he could do to show a bit of style and confidence, because I've heard them all.

What's most important is that I don't think wearing an earring is stupid and I want the wearing of it and the removal of it to be on my terms. All my life I have been giving in to pressure and life is too short to worry about what other people think. I might die tomorrow and if I do does anyone really care that I was wearing an earring at the time? I don't really think so.