OK, So I Still Wear Earrings. Does Anyone Really Care?

The past 8 months have been an interesting life journey for me. I've done something that I have wanted to do for many years. I have finally gotten the courage and made the bold step to..wear earrings in both ears.

I have blogged about this before and figured it was now time for an update on my situation. Some of you are probably thinking...meh...what's the big deal? So you wear earrings, who cares?

Others of you are rolling your eyes...come on I can see you rolling your eyes...and are thinking "he's cracked--the man has finally cracked".

But this is a huge step for me on many levels. You are right, It may be no big deal but it is for me. Because if you know me--or think you know me, then you might be surprised at the choice I have made and surprised at why I made the choice that I have. And that is what this post is all about.

This is why I wear earrings.

My journey starts in 1986. This was an important year for me. I became a legal adult and because of family issues, I would move out of my family home into an apartment.

I pierced my left ear myself late that year--in October I think it was when I was 21 years of age. This was back at a time when guys only got one ear pierced--left if you were straight and right if you were gay--or so the tradition was. My family was a little surprised at what I had done, but once the shock wore off I continued to wear a small stud, then a small gold hoop for a couple of years off and on. 

I pierced my ear that night back in 1986, knowing that my father would not be happy about it, but hell, I was 21 and I was an adult, and even though I was still living at home, he was just going to have to accept it.

He wasn't happy about it, but he tolerated it. I honestly don't really remember what he said to me about it at the time, Something like "oh, you have an earring, hmmm".

I just remember that I was nervous as hell the morning after I pierced it and inserted into my newly pierced earlobe, a borrowed stud from my younger sister. But really what could he say? He had two tattoos, one on each forearm so something about a black kettle and a pot might have applied to this situation. 

I do remember the HR person at my job commenting when she noticed the earring one morning. "What's that in your ear? An earring?" I nodded and she rolled her eyes and shook her head. I think that was the only negative comment I got. At least that I remember.

But no one in my extended conservative family really made a big deal and I don't recall any negative comments from them. I was, after all, an adult and if I wanted to flush my life down the toilet, then that was my prerogative. I do think my older sisters thought I was cool.

Then I got bored with it and stopped wearing an earring altogether. The shock value had long since passed and I figured I didn't need it anymore.

Every few years after having removed the earring, I would get the urge to put the bling back in my earlobe but it would only last a few weeks or month, then back out the earring came.

I joined an ultraconservative church in 1993 that forbade men wearing earrings (among other things) and since I fell for their doctrine hook line and sinker, I finally stopped wearing an earring and was happy to do so. I figured my earring wearing days were over. 

Then something very bad happened. I became judgmental and opinionated and thought that guys who wore earrings were stupid and silly. Earrings were for women, didn't you know? A guy had no place wearing earrings. I didn't wear one any longer so they shouldn't either. I convinced myself that it was kind of evil and bad to wear earrings. One ear was bad enough. But some guys had them in both ears. That was downright ludicrous!!!

I was quite smug in my assessment of other guys jewelry choices but didn't really realize what I had become. A judgmental jerk, or more correctly, a judgmental ass.

I stopped going to that ultraconservative church around the time I turned 40. In a bit of rebelliousness and a little bit of mid-life crisis, I changed my tune guys and earrings. They were now hip and cool again!!!

I started wearing an earring again and felt pretty damn good. I was snubbing my nose at the ultraconservative church and its teachings that earrings on guys were evil and dangerous. 

But now it was 2005, not 1986 and times had changed in regards to the number and placement of the male earring. It was now OK to wear earrings in both ears! 

Many more guys were doing it now and I was only too happy to jump on the "both ears pierced" bandwagon. Damn that ultraconservative church and its outdated and archaic views on the male earring. Obviously, this church didn't own stock in man earrings. But the number of guys with both ears pierced was on the rise, though at this point in time it not exactly universal.

Did I wear the earrings to fit into a certain (cool) segment of society, or was it really about being rebellious? Not really sure at this point in my life journey. I pierced my right ear and wore small tasteful studs in both ears..for about 3 days. 

My new family wasn't keen on the two earring thing. Now I will be the first to admit I'm not the most masculine guy on the planet. No, no I can take it. I wouldn't say I was effeminate, but I don't really do a lot of "guy" things. I don't really watch sports on TV unless it's a gold medal Olympic hockey game or the World Series. Nor do I  play many sports for that matter. I have the coordination of a lopsided weeble ("weebles wobble but they don't fall down..."). I don't hate sports, I'm just not co-ordinated and felt that for the safety of everyone around me that I refrain from participating in sports. I don't really care about cars, either. I just like to drive one. (I do like "man type" movies though so that's a good sign at least). And I don't usually use a knife when I eat--and that's a guy thing, right?

A natural outcome of not being involved in sports is that I am a bit (OK, a lot) overweight. The argument at the time in 2005 was that the earrings made me look just a little bit effeminate. I never really put this theory to the test. I just removed the earrings and went back to being my old boring self. Keep in mind that this was still 2005 and guys with both ears pierced, though on the rise, were not that common--yet. 

I was disappointed about the earrings and got over it a few weeks later, but about a year after all this transpired, I started attending the ultraconservative church again and like before the same judgments and opinions surfaced. Guys wearing earrings were just a little bit silly and stupid, I would tell myself. I used to be one of those silly and stupid guys, but no more!

Boy, I was brainwashed, I realize that now. But back then that was my new updated opinion. I would see a guy with an earring or two at the mall or grocery shopping and just shake my head. How pathetic! It was all I could do to resist the urge to inform them of the error of their ways. If I was more of an extrovert I probably would have told a few guys what I thought about their earrings.

After almost 19 years of being pummeled and pushed around (and brainwashed..don't forget brainwashed) by the church, I left it for good in 2012. This was a very confusing time for me and it took a few years to sort out my feelings and find out what kind of a person I was. I was a judgmental ass when I was a member of that church, I realized that. But I was slowly losing that bad part of myself. I became more accepting of other people and stopped judging them but what they wore and what they looked like. 

I don't really know what the defining moment was for me, but earlier this year around my 50th birthday, I got the urge to put the bling back in my earlobe. I was ready to do the earring thing yet again. No longer encumbered by that churches outdated doctrines regarding the male earring, I was free to sport some serious bling. This time there was no stopping me!

I think it was a combination of rebellion against an organization that had manipulated and brainwashed me for years, and turning 50 that made me take the plunge yet again and join the masses of the earring-wearing male. I was also a different person than I was even 10 years ago. Back in 2005, I had left the church but it wasn't a permanent choice. But now in 2015, I was finally free of it. Completely free. I was a lot more confident now, the kind of confidence that comes with age. I no longer worried so much about what other people thought of me or my choices. That too comes with age. You get tired of worrying about it because you can't please everyone, no matter what you do someone will always think it's a wrong decision or just not a good decision.

I was, however, a little worried about the family and what their reaction would be to my wearing an earring again and especially at my age. They had rejected me with earrings back in 2005 but this was 2015, surely the age of enlightenment. Fifteen years into the 3rd millennium certainly guys with earrings would be finally accepted by society,  and more importantly, my family?

This time I did some research. I googled and googled some more. What was everyone's opinion on the matter?  Here I am, a 50-year-old guy wanting to wear an earring. Would I be accepted? Would I have to turn in my man card? Would I be laughed at? Or would I be like the coolest 50-year-old dude on the planet?

A surprising thing happened during the research. I got some responses on forums about this very question, but they weren't what I expected. But it turns out they were exactly what I had hoped.

No one really cared.

That was what I discovered. No one really cared anymore. Guys have been wearing earrings for many years and it's just not shocking or weird anymore. People on these forums had opinions, Of course, they did. But they were mostly in the vein of "you're an adult and can do whatever the hell you want with your earlobe and your life" and "what will help you pull it off is confidence. If you are confident wearing the earring, people will see that and respond accordingly".

The fact that I am 50 didn't really matter either. Sure, there are some people who still think that a 50-year-old guy wearing an earring is really silly. And stupid. And ridiculous. And...well the list could go on. You want to know something. Sometimes do I feel silly and stupid and ridiculous. But what's wrong with that? Does it really matter at the end of the day if you felt silly and stupid for those 3 minutes that day? I really don't care if anyone thinks I'm silly and stupid. I understand why you think that, but really I honestly don't care. 

I wore an earring for about a month and then gradually got the old urge to wear earrings in both ears. Wearing an earring in one ear is a bit dated as a fashion trend.

Sure, I still see guys with one earring and they are mostly older guys (like me) who probably pierced their ear back in the '80s.(like me) and either don't want anything more than that and are comfortable with wearing one earring. To me that's perfectly fine. I don't see anything wrong with that. It's a style and a choice. like any piece of jewelry, you decide where you want to wear it and how many pieces you want to wear. If you only want one earring, then that's great. Rock on.

But I wanted more. Like 10 years ago, I wanted to be just a little more "hip" than the regular older guy. I feel I have to overcompensate because if you see a picture of me, I don't exactly scream "hip" or "cool". I look downright boring--or at least I think so. So I need a little more "edge" than the usual guy.

Most of the guys I see have earrings in both ears, both young and older guys alike. That just happens to be the trend nowadays, Both ears pierced guys are more accepted and the old stereotypes of wearing earrings meaning that you are gay have been slowly dying away if they're not already dead. Does anyone really think that anymore? There may be a few people, but most people don't think this. 

So about 2 months ago, I pierced my right ear and now happily sport earrings in both ears. I admit that I am a little impatient and have been changing out my studs every few days so my right earlobe is taking a bit longer to heal up but I am confident that it will heal up eventually. There is no pain or swelling any longer and no infection. 

I like wearing my earrings! There is nothing like the feeling of walking around the mall, or walking around at work and sporting earrings in both ears! My confidence level has skyrocketed over the past few months. I can't really explain it, but other guys on internet forums have experienced the same euphoria. It's like you're saying "see me I have both ears pierced and I don't give a toss what you think of me". I have to admit this is very liberating.

At my workplace, I counted 5 guys who wear earrings (including myself) and they all wear them in both ears. And as far as I know, none of them are gay.

Now I got nothing against guys being gay. This is not meant as a judgment, but I don't want to look or appear gay for the simple reason that I'm not.

I honestly don't think guys wearing earrings in both ears makes them look gay. 

Well, hold on. Let me rephrase that. I don't think any guy wearing "masculine" earrings in both ears makes him look gay.  There is no correlation between earrings and sexual orientation. There just isn't. This is a fact, not just a theory. 

I will take it a step further and correct me if I'm wrong, but most gay guys don't wear earrings. I'm sure some do, but most don't. 

Let me repeat. There is no correlation between earrings on guys and sexual orientation. If this is what you think, then you are wrong, I'm sorry to tell you.

And the family? They don't really care anymore either. I went to two family functions sporting the new bling in both ears...and no one commented. At all. A little surprising, but I was happy about that.

So that's my story.

Today I still see guys in their 50's and 60's still wearing earrings and I will proudly be a part of that club and I will continue to wear my earrings until such time that I feel I no longer like the way they look on me--or I forget to put them in at the old age home.

I was at the mall yesterday and saw about 10 guys with earrings, some young, some middle-aged and some older dudes like me. They all rocked the earrings. Every last one of them.

So for all you naysayers, guys with earrings are here to stay. And if you don't like it and don't think its appropriate--then I don't really care.

"Should Guys Wear Earrings?"

Ok, so I'm just slightly offended by the question "Should guys wear earrings?"  What do people mean when they say "should"? Is there a committee somewhere deciding if it's acceptable for guys to wear earrings? And are you asking this mysterious committee if it should be allowed?

Or are you asking the general public if guys "should" wear earrings?

Because if you are asking the general public this question, then you are in for a lot of different opinions.  If there's one thing the general public has, it's many differing opinions.

We can't get away from people expressing their opinions. Everybody has them. Some people don't express them verbally. Other people express them verbally or in forums every day as if everyone else around them wants to hear them.

I have lots of them. And I'm sure you have lots of them too. We all have lots of opinions about stuff.

You want to know something? I don't like when people wear socks with sandals. I think this is a really tacky and stupid look. This is my opinion. But "should" people wear socks with sandals? I don't know and I don't care. Who am I to judge whether this is acceptable or not? I honestly don't care if people wear socks and sandals. I think it looks dumb personally, but I would never express my opinion verbally to anyone on the street who was committing this grievous fashion faux-pas.

Because it really is none of my business if someone does this. Is it hurting anyone? Well, maybe my eyes--but no, all kidding aside, really it's not. So wear socks with sandals every day. I doesn't matter to me. Do whatever you want because it's your life. And your feet.

Now, what do you think about guys wearing earrings? Do you think guys "should" wear earrings, or is this segment of fashion and jewelry reserved for women only? You must have an opinion about this. Most people do. Some people don't care one way or the other. But most people are either for them or against them.

If you think only women "should" wear earrings, then that's your opinion and that's fine as far as I'm concerned.

I happen to not agree with you. My opinion is that guys should be able to wear earrings without discrimination. I think it's a cool look and can look very masculine with the right type and size of earring. It think it is perfectly acceptable for guys to wear an earring in their left ear only if they wish. Or in their right ear only. Or both ears if that's what they want. It is a good look, I think. Earrings are just another fashion accessory that can enhance a guys overall look and style. A nice watch on your wrist or ring on your finger can enhance your look and style too. A tasteful bracelet or necklace can be another great addition to a man's style. (toe rings and ankle bracelets, eh, not so much--but again, this is my opinion)

But for some reason guys who wear earrings get a bad rap. A lot of people think that earrings are feminine and only women should wear them. This is their (misguided to me) opinion. Sure there are some earrings out there that guys shouldn't wear because they weren't meant for guys to wear. There are feminine type earrings with big flowers or fancy designs. Some have big gaudy fashion jewelry stuck on them, These are very feminine as well.  Large dangly earrings "should" not be worn by guys either(again, my opinion). But nice diamond , silver, gold or black studs or small understated thick hoops can look really cool on guys. CBR's (captive bead ring) can look cool on the guy who wants to have a more edgy look.

Many jewelry stores and some department stores carry earrings made especially for men. Check out Walmart men's jewelry as they have some men's earrings on display.

Even more online stores carry earrings especially for men. Amazon has a huge selection as does Urban Male and others.

The key to guys earrings is restraint and understatement. All guys jewelry should be understated anyway (my opinion) and earrings should be just as accepted as a jewelry choice for men as a watch or ring.(and unless you are 6'7" and your name is Brutus, maybe stay away from the pinky ring, ankle bracelet or toe ring)

Now, I wear earrings. And in both of my ears. I know some of you might be shocked by this. I think it enhances my look and shows a bit of a confident style. (because heaven knows I need something to enhance my look).

I have a shaved head as well, and I think the earrings complement my look.  I was never very worried about style when I was younger but now that I'm 50, I just feel that I'm a big boy and I can do what I want, and I don't really care what people think of my choices anymore.

Because I'm sure there are people out there that think that my choice to wear earrings (especially at my age) to be silly and stupid. And probably a little bit ridiculous. They don't think I "should" wear earrings.

And they might be partly right. Maybe it is a little silly and ridiculous but does it really matter in the grand scheme? Wearing earrings is something that I really want to do at this stage of my life and since I'm not hurting anyone, I think I "should" be free to make this choice if I want.

So the next time I see an article on the internet or magazine asking "should guys wear earrings?", my opinion is "yes, they should have the choice." Just like you have the choice to wear socks with sandals if you wish, (though I wouldn't advise it, its a really tacky and stupid look)...Sorry I was just expressing my opinion...

Self Confidence And Ear Jewelery

It's been about three weeks now and I'm still doing the earring thing. I just turned 50 a few weeks back and some of you might think I'm crazy and that wearing an earring at my age is really silly and stupid. Frankly if you are one of those people, then I realize you are entitled to your opinion. And let me be blunt. I don't really care what you think.

I've been googling a lot of things lately and one topic that I've been researching is not worrying about what other people think. It's an epidemic in this society, that we place so much emphasis on what we do to how others perceive us. I'm too old to worry about other people's opinions of me and what I do. I frankly just don't care.I don't really care if you think I'm silly or stupid for wearing an earring.  I'm a big boy and I can take the criticism. Chances are pretty high that I think something you do is silly and stupid. And I hope you don't care what I think, because you shouldn't.

For those of you who know me, what I just said might come as a bit of a shock. I grew up with a very strict father and was always trying to live up to his expectations. I wasn't allowed to have an opinion about anything, so I just agreed with him all the time. This did little to help me develop self confidence and self esteem. I was extremely shy as a child and even as a teenager, I rarely strayed far from home. That being said, when I was 21 and still living at home, I felt the pangs of rebellion and as I had recently left school and was working, and wanted to show a bit of self confidence and assert some independence from a domineering father, I pierced my left ear. It was October 1986 and a guy with an earring was still pretty controversial. Sure there were a lot of guys who had one, but it was not as commonplace and accepted as it is today.

 I had never been so nervous in my life the next morning when I had to face my father. But I did face him. He was not happy, but since I was an adult there wasn't much he could do. He could have kicked me out of the house I suppose, but he didn't. I was his only son (he had 3 daughters as well) and was probably resigned to the fact that I was his fourth "daughter". I had crossed over to the dark side. I had an earring! I think I mainly pierced my ear (back then guys only pierced one ear) to assert some form of independence and self confidence and to show a bit of style that was sorely lacking in my life up to that point. It was a major breakthrough in my quest to get out from under my father's thumb. I was an adult and if I wanted to wear an earring, then I was going wear one.

So I did. It shocked a lot of people, I think. My family was certainly surprised. The fact that they were shocked kind of hurt a little, because did they really think I was that boring and conservative that I would never do something so bold? But like all things, the novelty wore off and no one was shocked anymore. I wore the earring for a few years, moving from a silver stud to a fake diamond stud to a small gold hoop and back again. And then I got bored with it and took it out. I don't remember when exactly. I just stopped wearing it. I had proved my point. I was an adult and could make my own decisions. I could put it back in if I wanted, but I really didn't care. I became apathetic about it.

Then, I joined a very ultraconservative church at 28 years of age. They frowned on men wearing earrings and I had no problem abiding by that rule. My earring wearing days were over as far as I was concerned. Life chugged along, I got married and had a son in my 30's. Then I left the church for a few years. During that time I turned 40 and was having a major mid life crisis. In part to rebel against the church I got the old familiar pang to start wearing an earring again. This time I was almost 20 years older than when I first pierced my ear. Times had changed and guys were now wearing earrings in both ears and it was a lot more acceptable for a guy to have pierced ears than it was 20 years previous. I was in a rebellious mood so I dabbled with the idea of having earrings in both ears. Now, I was 40 and a fair bit overweight, so earrings in both ears looked a little too silly on me (I only wore earrings in both ears for about 3 days). I was kind of disappointed that it was't working out like I had planned so I took the earring out again. I started attending the ultraconservative church soon after and all thoughts of earrings went away again.

Well now it's 10 years down the road and I'm now 50. I left that ultraconservative church 3 years ago, this time for good. I don't know what gave me the urge to start wearing an earring again. But here we are. I know a lot of people think it's stupid and a little bit silly for a man my age to be wearing an earring. But I'm not too worried. I'm just having a little fun in my relative old age. For every person who has this opinion that earrings are silly on older men, there are just as many who think it's just fine. They think that people should be able to do what they want to feel confident and stylish. Age shouldn't matter.

Hell, my favourite male actor, the coolest guy in the universe Han Solo, er I mean, Harrison Ford is over 70 years old and he sports an earring. If he can do it then so can I, right?

OK, So I Wear An Earring...So What? Does Anyone Really Care?

I just turned 50 years old a few weeks back. I also wear an earring in my left ear. I am a guy. I am straight. Some people think that this is a stupid thing to do. A 50 year old guy with an earring. How ridiculous!

Though I don't think I should have to, I am going to explain why I have an earring. This is going to be cathartic for me because since I put the earring back in about a week ago, sometimes I am so tempted to take it back out and put it back in my little jewelry box that's sitting on my bedside table. But I don't do it. Why? Because that would be giving in. All my life I have been giving in to outside or peer pressure. Because basically I'm a wimp. I have always been a wimp. All my life. And I'm tired of it.

I have been on the Internet for the past week googling "guys with earrings", "Older guys with earrings" and related searches trying to find out what the general public thinks about--well, guys with earrings. Never have I come across a subject with such wide ranging opinions! Whew! My head spins sometimes with all the opinions I have read from "the guy must be gay" (nothing wrong with being gay, just that I'm not) and "it's stupid, don't do it", to "it's the greatest thing a man could do to show a bit of style and confidence" "go for it, it's your body, you're an adult you can do what you like". I tend to agree with the latter camp. it is my body. It is my ear. I am an adult (last time I checked) and I can do what I bloody well want to.

I think I am old enough and have earned that privilege to do what I want with my body. Why should I stop doing something because some stranger doesn't think I should?

A little history. I pierced my left ear when I was 21. I did it partly I think to piss off my dad. He was ultra conservative and this was my way of rebelling against my strict upbringing. He thought I did it to copy a rock singer (I'm too embarrassed to reveal who that was) but that wasn't why. He never really understood why because he passed away about 3 months later. I wore an earring for few years, a small stud the progressed to a gold hoop. Then I got bored with it. I thought that was the end of it.

But every few years I got the inkling to wear one again. It made me feel confident and a little cool and rebellious. Then I joined an ultra conservative church that frowned on guys with earrings. (they frowned on girls having more than one). So my earring wearing days were over...or so I thought. I stopped going to that church for a while about 10 years ago. I also turned 40 years old and went through a mini mid life crisis. I put the earring back in and dabbled with the idea of having both ears pierced, but soon gave up on that idea as a little too radical for me at the time.

I started going back to that church and again the earring went back into hiding. Well I have now resigned from that church and recently turned 50. Another mid life crisis? Maybe. And who knows how long I'll want to wear the earring. Another week. Another month? The rest of my life? And do I get my other ear pierced for a more balanced look?   I'm not getting exactly rousing support from my family, but I feel this is important to me--for now. it's a phase. I know I'll get bored with it again. But I want the reason for my getting rid of it to be because I want to stop wearing it. Not from outside pressure. And not from a lack of self confidence.

It's funny. Everywhere I look I see guys, young and old with one earring, multiple earrings, both ears pierced. As soon as I put this stud back in last week, I hardly see anyone sporting jewelry on their lobes. Doesn't do much for my self confidence (come on guys, help me out!!!) , but I'm sticking to my guns. it's very important to me that I don't give in to pressure from society that thinks that wearing an earring is either the stupidest and silliest thing a man of my age could do to the greatest thing he could do to show a bit of style and confidence, because I've heard them all.

What's most important is that I don't think wearing an earring is stupid and I want the wearing of it and the removal of it to be on my terms. All my life I have been giving in to pressure and life is too short to worry about what other people think. I might die tomorrow and if I do does anyone really care that I was wearing an earring at the time? I don't really think so.